Only 5 hours until the puck drops for the gold medal game the 2015 World Juniors hockey tournament. There are few things more exciting, thrilling, and stressful than watching Team Canada play for hockey gold*. The great thing about the World Juniors is that, unlike the Winter Olympics, they happen every year. Unfortunately, for the past several years Team Canada has failed to win gold (and a few years even advance to the finals) which has been a sore disappoint for me and my countrymen.

But not this year. This year we are playing for gold against the big, bad Russians**. I am simultaneously exhilarated and terrified. We’re playing on home turf so we HAVE to win. I’m schlepping to what is sure to be a deserted bar in bad weather because I don’t get the NHL Network with my cable package (why can’t Americans care more about hockey?!) so we HAVE to win. We have Connor The-New-Sidney-Crosby McDavid so we HAVE to win. We have Curtis PEW-PEW-PEW Lazar so we HAVE to win. We have Tie Domi’s offspring to we HAVE to win.

Honestly, we have to win because to lose (especially to the Russians!) would break my heart.

So let’s go boys. Get ‘er done. Get pucks to the net, get bodies to the net. [Other Canadian hockey cliches.]


*Except for maybe watching the Montreal Canadiens play in the Stanley Cup finals but that hasn’t happened since 1993 when I was 4 years old. Maybe this year?!?

** Actually, I think Team Canada is, generally speaking, bigger in stature than the Russians but whatever, the bad still stands.

[Update: WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!]